Diary of a Wimpy Saiyan
by Pufflehugs
Summary: Greg Heffley meets a mentor that is able to unlock his true potential.
1. Chapter 1

Greg Heffley was a wimpy kid. Everyone already knew this. Even his ex-best friend Rowley Jefferson kicked his ass at least once every day. The only people Greg could trust anymore was his gang, the Alligator Pajamas. However, one fateful day made everything much better. One day that would make Greg the toughest kid in school. No, the toughest kid in the world!

This was the day Greg Heffley met Cell.

"So you're gonna train me fam?" Greg asked, and his took his blunt out of his mouth.

"Indeed." answered imperfect Cell, "But first you must do something for me."

"What do you need?" Greg asked.

"I need you to bring me Androids 17 and 18." stated Cell.

"But there's no way I could stand up to them." declared Greg. The androids were truly tough, as they had been causing apocalypse on the entire planet. Greg's hometown only managed to be protected by the strange warrior known only as Freggly.

"In that case, I will teach you one technique." Cell said as his placed his hand on Greg's head. In doing this, he taught Greg the kaioken. "All you have to do is shout 'kaioken' to activate it."

"Alright I'll go fucking kill those stupid androids." declared Greg as he ran out of Cell's cave. As Greg exited Cell's cave, he was confronted by his brother Rodrick.

"Hey runt, it's time to get your fucking ass beaten." said Rodrick. Greg's parents obviously cared about Rodrick and Manny more than they cared about Greg, as they had given the two weighted training clothes so they could become stronger. "Now then, which bone will I break this time?"

"KAIOKEN!" shouted Greg and he punched Rodrick in the face. This attack managed to knock Rodrick straight into Papa Tony's Pizza. Rodrick landed right next to the pizza oven, and some gasoline poured out of his pocket. The gasoline caught fire and lit Rodrick ablaze. In mere moments, the entire restaurant was in flames. Greg smiled. He knew with this new power, he would be able to kill the androids.

"Come on Lazuli, we need to kill the last remaining humans!" said Android 17, looking impatient.

"You know Lapis, I found out something enraging." said Android 18 with anger in her voice, "Zamasu stole our shtick and is doing it better than us!"

"That just makes me want to kill those damned humans more!" shouted Android 17 as he flew in the direction of Greg's hometown.

"Hey stop right there fam." called Greg.

"Do you want to die?" asked Android 17.

Greg smiled again. "KAIOKEN TIMES TEN!"

Android 17's face changed from smug to dismayed as Greg knocked his head off with one swift kick.

"Lapis!" screamed Android 18 as she saw the damage to her brother. "I'll fucking kill you!"

Android 18 dived towards Greg and swung a punch at him. This knocked Greg back into a nearby mountain.

"That takes care of that." declared Android 18.

"KAIOKEN TIMES ONE HUNDRED!" screamed Greg.

"Dear God." uttered Android 18.

Before Android 18 could even see him, Greg slapped Android 18 so hard that she died instantly. Greg carried the dead androids back to Cell's cave. Cell absorbed their bodies and transformed into his perfect form.

"Finally!" said Perfect Cell, "For your assistance, I'll train you."

"Thanks fam." said Greg.

"There's something you probably don't know about yourself, something shocking." declared Cell.

"What is it fam?" asked Greg.

 _ **"You are a Saiyan."**_


	2. Chapter 2

Everything suddenly made sense to Greg. His parents weren't unusual, for they aren't human at all. They're saiyans. It's saiyan nature to reject weaklings. That's what happened to Vegeta's brother Tarble. But now Greg was the alpha.

Greg spent five years training with Master Cell. During this time he had unlocked new forms that Cell referred to as "super saiyan" forms. Cell had also achieved a new form as well, a golden form that he had inherited from Frieza.

"Today's the day." Cell said, "Today's the day we destroy this stupid city, and then the entire planet!"

"Alright, let's go show these fools our power!" declared Greg. During his five years of training, he had adopted Cell's manner of speech.

"So, Greg, where should we attack first?" asked Cell.

"My old house." answered Greg. For the past five years, Greg had been plotting revenge on his family. The same family that rejected him for his weakness. After Rodrick's death, he had no funeral. Greg's parents had no desire to honour a warrior who would die by the hand of someone they considered a weakling.

"Alright then, let's go!" declared Cell.

Greg and Cell began flying towards Greg's old house. As they arrived, they kicked in the door. Susan Heffley, Greg's mother, was visibly shocked to see Greg.

"How could a weakling like you possibly survive for five years on your own?" asked Susan.

"Enough of your bullshit!" shouted Greg, "You considered me a weakling, but it couldn't be further from the case! I've spent the past five years training with Master Cell! And now I'll kill you!"

"Heh, you couldn't even hurt Manny." chuckled Susan.

"We'll see about that." Greg said as he activated his super saiyan form.

"A super saiyan, eh? Not like you could beat me!" declared Susan.

Greg swung his fist towards Susan's head, but she dodged as she activated her own super saiyan form. She then knocked Greg back.

"Damn it... Even after all of that training, I'm still so weak in comparison to my mom..." panted Greg, "No... No! I won't lose! KAIOKEN!"

"What is this? Is this the power of a... SUPER SAIYAN GOD!?" muttered Susan.

"I don't know what you're talking about," stated Greg, "But this is my super kaioken form! And now you will face my wraith!"

"You're so full of yourself, Greg. It would take the power of a god to kill me!" declared Susan.

Greg, however, began charging an attack. "Kamehameha!" shouted Greg. Before Susan could even react, she was dissolved in the beam.

"I didn't even have to interfere." Cell stated proudly.

"You seem to be the only one who truly understands my power." declared Greg.

"I see you are powerful." said Greg's father, Frank Heffley.

"Indeed I am." stated Greg, who had reverted back to regular super saiyan.

"However, you will not beat me!" declared Frank, as he transformed into his super saiyan form.

"You're likely stronger than mother was," determined Greg, "So I'll go even harder on you.". Greg then activated his super saiyan two form.

"A-a second level super saiyan!? No matter, I'll still overpower you." declared Frank.

"How foolish." stated Greg as he began running at Frank. Greg elbowed Frank in the back of the head, causing him to spit up blood.

"Gah! You'll pay for that!" shouted Frank as he began charging a galick gun. In response, Greg began charging another kamehameha wave. They both simultaneously fired their attacks at each other and started a beam struggle.

"Give up, son!" ordered Frank, "You're no match for me!"

"KAIOKEN!" shouted Greg. The kaioken technique allowed Greg to win the beam struggle. The force from the attack left Frank alive, but immobile.

"Any last words, scum?" asked Greg.

"You'll never defeat your brother." declared Frank.

"I killed Rodrick years ago." stated Greg.

"I'm not talking about Rodrick" clarified Frank, "I'm talking about Manny."

"Heh, as if he could kill me." declared Greg as he fired a ki blast at Frank's head, blowing it into pieces.

"You clearly underestimate me." stated Manny.

Greg turned to look at Manny. He had clearly aged quite a bit, and was now thirteen years old. He was wearing gold plated saiyan armour, and had a green double-eye scouter similar to the one worn by Tagoma. But the most notable difference was the fact that he now possessed a saiyan tail.

"Yeah, sure." Greg said sarcastically, "Get out of my way and I may spare you. Emphasis on may."

"Fine, let me show you my power." declared Manny.

Manny's entire body began swelling. His pupils disappeared and his hair turned spiky and green. His chest was simply too big to be contained by the saiyan armour, so it cracked and broke off. Manny was now five times Greg's size.

"This is... A legendary super saiyan!" Cell realized.

"But wait, Greg! There's still where to ascend!" Manny declared as he began charging a white ball of light in his hand. Manny threw this ball of light into the air. "Transform into... A full moon!"

Manny started becoming larger. Green hair began growing all over his body, and he was still growing. His eyes changed from white to red. Manny had become a Legendary Golden Oozaru.

Upon seeing this, Greg activated his super saiyan three form and Cell activated his golden form. They both began charging at Manny, but Manny knocked them both back with one swing of his tail.

"He's tough!" stated Greg.

Manny then turned towards Cell and began charging his eraser gun. As he fired the attack and disolved Cell, Greg used the opportunity to attack Manny. "KAIOKEN TIMES ONE THOUSAND!" he screamed as he punched Manny in the head. Manny fell onto where Cell once stood and was completely immobilized. Cell then regenerated and lifted up Manny before throwing him to the moon. Greg then used the instant transmission technique and ripped Manny's tail off. Once Manny powered down into his legendary super saiyan form, Greg fired a special beam cannon into his chest, killing him instantly.

"Where to now?" Cell asked as Greg returned to the Earth.

"Westmore Middle School." decided Greg.


End file.
